A pilgrim

Photo by Bertrand Borie

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The man came to the holy place dry as a well.

For many days he wandered the same paths where innumerable pilgrims passed, praying, singing, or weeping. He did so without company, without words, without any final thought about anything whatsoever.

In those days the crooked stones of the pavements troubled him deeply, as did the shrines, the small oratories, and the overheated walls of all the labyrinths of that place. The great statues imploring the heavens disturbed him, the dusty ground, and the waterless fountains along the interminable sacred way.

He did not grasp the wearying office of remorse, nor the compulsion toward tears of which they sometimes spoke in strange tongues, languages whose idiom he knew, though not the meaning of their phrases.

His name was Stanislaus Jakubiak. He was a scientist. He called himself an agnostic.

On the seventh day, in one of the alleys that lead from the great square toward the outskirts of the sanctuary, still dazed by the reverberation of the heavy bells of the carillon, he beheld an olive tree.

It was a very ancient tree. Of the original trunk only a twisted, bowed remnant endured, as though lightning had once cleft it in two and only one half had survived the sacrifice of existing. Around it stood a low parapet of loosely set shale slats, and between them, the trunk, and the small green‑grey leaves, a thick layer of dust had gathered.

Stanislaus would have signed his name beneath a declaration calling it the finest metaphor of Christian faith.

Pausing a few instants, he saw a small bird with yellow feathers hop there and lift its beak. And he noticed that from the faded leaves of the branches an immaculately white flower sprang forth — alive, resilient. And he felt that from the harmonious breathing of the stones, the bird, and the tree, a silence was rising, the very silence we feel in lands lost from maps.

The Pole perceived that this fossil was a dwelling. Forms of love depended upon that ruin and proved that nothing in this world is so definitive and so fragile that it cannot take us unawares.

He recalled a poem by Zbigniew Herbert that says: “In dust they buried our soul, / in the wind they will uncover our bones still joined.”

He was not certain the poem belonged to Herbert. Nor that the verses said exactly that.

He felt only weary. He wiped his eyes. He saw things.

Communicating

Photo by Anastasia Shelepova

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Sometimes, still with my eyes hardened by sleep, I come out into the courtyard and stand there for a few minutes, simply contemplating. I see the triple high‑voltage lines, the fuselage of an aeroplane moving between them, the sometimes frayed, translucent lacework of spiderwebs on the roof cornices, the roads rising and falling, curving through the places that were and are my whole life.

I ask myself whether these lines might not also be a form of language, of writing, just like the sun, the grasses, or the wind itself. Might they be a kind of script whose deciphering depends largely on the sharpness of our eyes and on the sense of occasion with which they plunge into reality and see it differently?

The Polish poet Wisława Szymborska tells us that “Nothing can ever happen twice. / In consequence, the sorry fact is / that we arrive here improvised / and leave without the chance to practise.” It is a variant of the popular saying “nobody is born knowing”. The world’s forms of communication are a little like the false silence of the cosmos: everything depends on the kind of telescope with which we scrutinise it. Our innocence ends the moment we discover a way of reading what lies beyond us.

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The quoted lines are from Wisława Szymborska’s poem “Nothing Twice”, in the translation by Stanisław Barańczak and Clare Cavanagh, published in Poems New and Collected, 1957–1997 (Harcourt).
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Ritual

Cleaning the hands
Photo by Melissa Jeanty

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He had acquired the habit of meticulously washing his hands and trimming his nails before delivering a speech. He ran his palms and the backs of his fingers under the water, lathered them with Clarim, then held them again beneath the stream flowing from the tap, almost scalding hot. It was a ritual.

Then, before leaving his office, he read the text one last time and corrected it with a cheap pencil, crossing out more words than he put back onto the page. He disliked coming up against formulas, clichés, sentences that sounded like a great deal and yet said nothing.

Finally, he looked at himself in the mirror.

He did so in silence, trying to glimpse in the face before him the slightest traces of childhood. He searched there for the boy in clogs, with a torn sweater and an ugly little moustache, whose courage in the hard work of those earlier days he seemed to value more than the prestige he had gained over the years. That boy was his inspiration.

He remained in near-total silence for a long time, an immeasurable stretch, an hour, a minute, an eternity, until an aide knocked at the door.

They were waiting for him.

This was the moment. Millions of viewers had their televisions tuned to the channel through which his words would echo, measured, carefully chosen, perhaps a little rough, competent, in a steep dive toward the very core of the problems.

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Text by João Ricardo Lopes

João Ricardo Lopes is a contemporary Portuguese poet and writer.

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